She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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