dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
