Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize