do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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