I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
