I just cut my nipple shaving
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
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Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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