Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
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