Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
