I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
