i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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