Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
ok first of all what the fuck
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
