I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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