It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize