If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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