it wasn't lemon gatorade
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
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javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
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Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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