Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
