You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
