I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
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So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
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he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize