Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
