How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize