I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
