Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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