your thong is hanging out like whoa
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
