I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize