just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
