So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You dont lie about slip and slides
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
