Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
