Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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