Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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