I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
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So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
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I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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