I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
