i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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