Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
