another moral hangover. fuck.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize