all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
