I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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