The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
