So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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