so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Dignity is for republicans.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
