Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So squirting runs in the family.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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