What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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