guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
