Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
