I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
