census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Everything about him screamed your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize