i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
