drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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