Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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