Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
