I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
