so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
