It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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