it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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