you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Randomize
