Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize