lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
